Fundies Rule

Why would I say such a thing? Because they say some of the stupidest things I have ever heard, and stupid is funny. Of course I'm not talking about all fundies. Like Muslim fundies are nothing to laugh about. They would very likely hunt me down and slaughter everyone I know and love in front of me if I made fun of them.

It's not like I've never done anything stupid before. Haven't we all. I just think that some things in this world are best left untested. For instance, you'll never see me pissing on an electric conducting rail for fear of being electrocuted. The same goes for peeing on a Koran, which would essentially be suicide. And drawing cartoons of Muhammad, and wanting to go to school if I was a 14 year old girl... all those being a capitol offense to the Muslim fundamentalist.



So to be on the safe side, I'm only going to make fun if the Christian fundies. They are much to worried about going to jail to commit a capital offense or anything else that might land them there. Unless you're talking about killing an abortionist which is perfectly OK by them. Everyone knows it's a bad thing to kill an unformed and undeveloped fetus, but perfectly acceptable to kill a fully developed adult abortionist.

It's also interesting to note that fundies are OK with forgiving murders, (except for abortionists), but have a big problem forgiving gays and lesbians. Which of course is why they have that fear of going to prison. Actually I'm not to sure about what I just wrote. I don't know if fundies would forgive any murder... unless it was the murder of an abortionist...

Well this post if far to serious for what I intended. I just wanted to give a few examples of what fundies have said. Some things I've read simply can't be true. They are either to stupid, rude, bigoted or just plain vile to believe. So here's a quote from a fundie...

"Obama won with government plantation slaves, illegal aliens, females wanting to kill their unborn, and idiots under 30. Lord help us!!!!"

 Here's what one fundie is saying other groups or people are saying about the election...

Muslims; "One of us is still president, keep that uranium flowing!"
Putin; "Now Obama has that flexibility he promised me."
Gays; "Now we can enjoy life and live like others."
Liberal women; "It's my body and my choice! Yay!"
Christians; "Tomorrow Lord?"

Here's a good one. This could be your fundie neighbor...

"The Porn Belts have spoken. We are slaves of smut and socialism. The immoral producers of nothing will continue rule over the moral producers of goods and services. Non-earners will continue domination of the earners; demanding we work harder so they can take more.

"What does this mean for me? I quit. I will no longer support filthy lazy liberal bastards. I’ll be taking an early retirement within a year or so. The liberal scum will no longer get any $ from me. Let the scum starve. And when all the producers finally quit (as always happens with socialism), and the grocery shelves are empty, and the scum shows up on my doorstep begging for a handout, or try to steal from my garden or take my game, I’ll blow their stupid communist heads plumb off.

"America committed suicide yesterday. Arm yourselves."

So it's like love thy neighbor unless you voted for Obama. And if you think fundies can only be upset with those they don't personally know, well check this quote out...

"You are doing a kindness, a gift, a charity. You have NO obligation to provide for, whatever the circumstance, someone who votes against your financial interest.

PS...if you think you’re feeling bad...I just cut off my daughter’s college money, as she felt the need to “express herself” and vote against the family’s monetary well-being in Ohio. Hope she likes “expressing herself” as she waits tables for next semester’s tuition (and her books, healthcare, car insurance, rent, food...hahaha).

Not a funny hahahaha, but hey, her choice. And I’m all about respecting “choice”. I’m just not going to subsidize it.

Love thy neighbor? Hell they treat their own daughter worse than a total stranger. Talk about trying to buy votes. You vote for Romney and I'll help you out. You vote for Obama and you're written out of my will...

“God bless the people who are suffering still due to Sandy. Fuck em, they went for Obama."

That's nice, if you're suffering from hurricane Sandy and voted for Romney, God bless you, but if you voted for Obama, fuck ya! I saved this next one for last. Most fundies think that Obama is going to ruin the country. The next fundies answer to that is to do everything he can to help ruin the country...

It’s time for the people who make this country work to put up or shut up. It’s time to make the deadbeats feel some pain IMHO.

1) Minimize your spending. Take your savings out of the economy and hide it as best as you can.
2) In the same vein, take as much of your economic activity to the black market / cash only market as you can.
3) If you are thinking about closing your business down, go ahead.
4) If you are keeping your business running, take a strong look at who you are hiring and firing (ie: consider firing minorities and single women)
5) If you are a doctor begin limiting your patients or only take cash payments.
6) If you produce food (farmers) consider reducing your output to drive up prices and help Michelle O. with her fight on fat.
7) Do not associate, coach, elevate, or help in any way those who trend Democrat. This includes charities.
8) If you are working hard to try and get ahead. Stop - enjoy your life and family while you still can.
9) Do not associate with liberal bastions such as schools, colleges, and the entertainment industry. Consider homeschooling your kids.
10) Move to a red state and start pushing for secession. 

Wow. Unreal isn't it? You never really know a person unless they're  a fundie. They don't leave much for the imagination...